end of a story

do you ever realised that each time, each year that we are growing up, we will lose someone we cared the most. well, yeah. as we grow up, people come and go. if you even ever got a replacement for someone, they will not stay either. i dont know. that is what life is.

well today, it was my day to let go someone ive known for two years. it is for my own good and my family. i know it was my terrible fault. i should have not change. i should have focus on my study. what was i thinking!?! stupid choice. i should have listen to my family from the very beginning. 

being the youngest in the family, your elder siblings will always have something to do to let you down. i dont know why. they told me that i cared about my friends more than i cared of my family.

i mean, why? i still have time to talk to them, i still do whatever they want. YES! they dont even let me go out with my friends even they were girls only, yes i have listened to them. I am sixteen and  DON'T even know how to spend a day having fun with my friends. Doing house chores, yes ive been doing that everyday.
but.... Ive always been compared to my siblings. i know i am not good enough, i know ive change. during my childhood, yes my parents are proud of my grades and stuffs. i get better grades for upsr.

when im 13, form 1, i aint smart like those smartass kids. my family always told me to study, yes ive studied... but im just not good enough. being the unBRAINed girl and a non-prettyfaced . what do you expect? i am a quiet person. but everytime at school, i felt that i have someone to talk to. i have my friends, they are there to listen to me. although family are forever, i think i would feel better to talk about my problems and stuffs to my friends, although they wouldnt stay with me forever.

 it's not like Ive left my family behind. it's just about being the Youngest, no one ever understand me! They always makes me feel down. whatever i do is wrong to you. yes im a stupid person.i cant decide to do something. my every choice was a mistake. no one ever understand my feeling.

then this one day i known this boy. we are like bestfriends. now it is about two years. one very night, he called me. but i was sleeping 2 hours before he called. so im dreaming in my sleep for good. but .... my brother pick up the phone. what do you expected?! a boy calling me late night. and kantoi with my brother. BUT i DID NOT have any relationship with that boy. 

AND HE WAS THE FIRST EVER BOY THAT I HAVE EVER CONTACTED TO. why so worried? why do you let me down? he's just a friend. really. he's nice. he always listen to my stupid stories...atleast i have someone to talk to. my friends and him knows about my problems...

and you can surely count for just how many times did i answer his calls. i dont like to talk to boys! i can take care of myself. ego memakan diriku.

today is the day i had to tell him that i cant any longer contact him.. text him,, i told him sorry i had to.. for my own good, for my family, for him. we had never met before, we had been in a distance... kmk doakan yang terbaik untuk ktk. fi hifzillah... assalamualaikum....

2015

Assalamualaikum.

Hmmm.. 2015? A lot of things happened to me, although it was just March! Wait, it is the third month of the year already. This year, I cannot meet my some part of 'happiness' at school since they moved out from that school. Now I feel like killing the rest of my friends in that batch. I mean, just kidding. But seriously, now I feel like they are so smarter than me. It makes me sad. My friends' class and mine are separated. Yeah. It kills me, I had to cope myself with my new classmate, and hello new classmate, please don't make me embarrass. I am a shy person, how can I possibly make a new close friend from that class. hmm. But they sometimes approach me. I appreciate that, seriously, 'cause I ain't approach you first because I'm a quiet and shy person. (please go away, this attitude). It's hard for me to communicate to the people around me bah if like this!! Grrr...Then, there comes exam. How you thought it was gonna be? I know right. It was though. I'm gonna fail. but, if I pass, I really gonna cry. Hah. and then there was softball. and rugby. and hockey. please, choose one that is really suits me. But nevermind, it was not important. ok so there, at school I dont like to naik the stairs every morning, and then go down, to the labs, go up again. then go down canteen. I was like, why are the upper form class are at the top of the world?! cause we go to the labs bah, almost for all subjects. And all the labs are at downstairs. why even the lower forms that doesnt go out to the labs are not placed up there ? hahaha sometimes I am mean . sorry lower forms, but seriously. And poor lah the teachers go up down up down. why even the school block was build four tingkat. why dont you just go build two tingkat is just enough. The tanah at school muat lah. I rasa lah. But there are some things that i liked about being up there. The VIEW. from up there we can see the laut.. and the sea breeze is kuat from up there. you can feel the ketenangan. emmm I really liked that school, though. And I really liked to be an upper form student! hurmmm but Ive got a lot of challenge awaits. yeah. ok then.. I will be going now. Bye

Doa Wahdah

kawan, thank you

Assalamualaikum...

Salam Maulidur Rasul 1436H <3

Pendek jak mok cerita ritok, sebenar-benarnya,..

Nang bena juak bah.. kita tok semakin meningkat umur, semakin banyak kenal orang. macam ya lah juak. Kita tok, perlu lah juak berkawan ngan orang nok perangai bagus, untuk berik kesedaran sikit ngan dirik kita. Orang madah, kawan bia banyak, tapi jangan terpengaruh gilak dengan kesilapan nok kawan kita buat. Kita lah tukang tegur daknya. Tapi kalau kita rasa cam kita sik layak tegur nya, tegur jak, atleast sikit. Ingat bahawa nya ya kawan kita. Iboh join sekali kalau nya dah mbak molah salah ya. Inshaallah, kita doakan yang terbaik untuk orang. and,.Hargai kawan kita. Walaupun nya berjaik-jaik ngan kita tok atau molah kita terasa hati ka, pande-pande lah layan hati kitak ya. pujuk. Tapi, jangan dibalas balit, maafkannya jak. Sak tenang ati tok, ringan jak rasa. Kan? And, kalau ada orang tegur kita, terimak lah. Kawan macam ya lah mok dicarik. ;)

So... dalam kenal-kenal orang tok lah berkenal dengan sorang kawan tok... Sik sangka, kmk happy sebab kenal ngan nya. Nya lah polah kmk rasa better, nya salu berik nasihat kat kmk.  Nya mungkin kadang-kadang gurauan kan yang terlebih, tapi biasalah nak, nya kawan kita. hehe.. Kmk sik tauk mok padah camne ngan nya....

Apa-apa pun lahh.. 

Thank you for everything.

I hope this friendship lasts...

forever....

Inshaallah... <3

ucapan haluuu 2015 1/1/15

Assalamualaikum!

HAPPY NEW YEAR, it is 2015 already and I enjoyed the first 22 hours of it.

yeah it was fine.

yeah im ok.

hahahhahahahaha lawa ktk tok

<3

sorry for my past, if I do any mistake after this, please immediately correct me. If you correct me, I will appreciate it a lot because the one who correct my mistakes are always the best, but please tegur kmk in a good way. In sha Allah ;)

And...

Thank you to everyone who came into my life, you are the sunshine! BRIGHTTTT. shine brighttt this year. (excuse me, Sun)

Yeah,,jadi camya lah nya tek, makseh, torang buat aku happy. Thank you <3 I love you guys,.

ilut...sm

Happy new year 2015 sudah bahhhh